As you may know, I have an on-again, off-again, ongoing background project of drawing cute little pictures on beer coasters or blank postcards, usually featuring characters from my comics. I’ve done some as gifts and commissions, but for the most part they have remained personal mementos. It’s an irregular habit that dates back nearly 20 years, beginning with my time in Sydney’s inner west, working for Total Gamer and drinking with cartoonist pals.
At the time of writing I’m up to number 66, forty-two of which (!) are still in my possession.
But in my current LifeMoment™, I have two major needs: (1.) money, and (2.) to get rid of a bunch of stuff. There’s too much stuff around here! So, to begin with: I’m selling all of these coasters and postcards, in my Ko-fi shop!
I’ve tried to make the prices reasonable, though if you believe them to be too reasonable, you are welcome and able to counter my generosity with your own by paying more than the minimum price. To be clear, though, I want these to be affordable, so if the minimum price suits you, please feel good about paying it. I’ll feel good about it too.
I may start discounting unsold ones after some time. But if there’s a particular artwork you’re really keen on, obviously it’s better not to wait. There are no duplicates.
Going through these artworks one by one brought back a lot of memories, and where possible I’ve tried to provide a little context in the descriptions for each shop item. There are a lot of locations represented in the inscriptions, too, across Australia and Japan. A few of the most recent handful — from this month! — have silly bits of poetry on the reverse side, too.
Of course, most of the coasters have pub or beer logos on the reverse side, and you can look at those too. Honestly, even if you can’t buy anything at the moment (I feel you), go and have a browse of the shop — it looks like an art gallery right now! A lot of stories and moments are there.
If there’s an artwork you want to know more about, go ahead and ask right here.
If you personally witnessed me drawing any of these, guess what? I miss you!
While you’re in a spending mood, it’s time to tell you about Squishbook, the best thing you can buy for a primary-school-aged child at this exact moment. (Or ‘elementary-school-aged’ for our toothy alien friends.)
Squishbook is half comics and half about making comics, with a whole extra half on top, of silly nonsense and thoughtful advice — occasionally a challenge to distinguish — all one hundred and fifty percent of it for CHILDS. Perhaps your childs, or any curious and creative childs you might be aware of in your vicinity. You can learn much more about it at the crowdfunding page beneath this link.
It has been exhaustingly compiled by the excellent David Blumenstein, who assembled a crack team of sensitive and whimsical inner-child-havers including Ben Hutchings, Scarlette Baccini, Ive Sorocuk, your hero Patrick Alexander, and the ever-popular Many Others.
Contributor portraits by David Blumenstein
My bits in Squishbook include:
Erntnence Rotisserie-Ha’pennyworth’s Catalogue of Hats, which is two pages of very much what it sounds like
A drawing of a truly appalling unicorn, perhaps the worst yet, suitable for colouring in if you can choke back your vomit for long enough
Answers to children’s questions, for which the publisher (not me) is legally responsible
Blip Blop Chronicles, starring Li’l Atishoos — a four-page comic about the naughtiest child in the world furiously succeeding at it
Here’s a tiny bit of Blip Blop Chronicles for you, in both roughly pencilled and expertly inked forms:
Squishbook is partly funded by the City of Melbourne but partly funded by YOU, right now, as you head to the crowdfunding page and order some copies for all the children you can think of and also any Grown-Ups with a Sense of Wonder that you haven’t been able to rid yourself of socially.
The crowdfund ends in one week-ish (November 28th) and is already near its goal, but you know what? The print run actually costs twice as much as the goal! So if you can help to push the final total way past that goal, that would help to soothe David’s stress-related brain rash, I bet.
Will you still be able to order copies from the Pozible page after the crowdfund ends? I… I think so? I’m pretty sure yes you will. But if you are reading this in time, go and place an order now and get a cool thing for someone’s Christmas. “Ooh mama, it’s gonna be a zing-daddy boobly-o!” as the beloved carol goes.
…And available to order (at my ko-fi shop) for that merest, most limited of times: one Earth week.
In the spirit of the season, but a little prematurely (as befits the age of commerce), I decided on but a slender whim to take a couple of Christmas illustrations I done, from 2015 and 2016, design a backside for them (oo-er), and thus transform them into postcards.
Christmas cards — the open-up-able kind — are more traditional, but here in Japan, the closest cultural equivalent is New Year’s postcards, which are better because you don’t need to lick envelopes and aren’t expected to write anything private. Here, then, is the cosmopolitan and forward-looking Christmas postcard! Wow your distant relatives and ‘legacy friends’ with these artisanal Yuletide greetings.
Whoosh! Zoosh! Actual mail, actual stamped-with-a-stamp post, flying through the air, literally, in aeroplanes! Just imagine. What a treat. Then plop, into someone’s mailbox, as if it’s nothing. What a special time of year this nearly is.
Again, these are available to order for ONE WEEK, ending midnight-ish November 26th, 2023. That leaves me a few days to make them and send them by month’s end, so that you will receive them in time to fan yourself briefly with them, enjoying the health benefits of their homely handmade energy, before vandalising them with your ham-fisted sentiments and passing them on to the even less worthy by Christmas Day. Whoosh! Zoosh!
Really, this is mostly for fun and, let me assure you, not very much profit. So don’t mess about: ORDER RIGHT NOW, or don’t, it’s less work for me if you don’t, I don’t care. But it will be fun for both of us if you do.
And hey if you run out of people to send them to — who knows anyone’s address anymore? — there’s always Postcrossing!
[extra casual voice] Oh and while you’re placing an order and thinking about Christmas shopping anyway, don’t forget about Mr Frisky’s Unbelievable Planet, Tobias and Jube’s increasingly real “We’re doomed!” stickers, and adjacent treats of a like nature. (Perhaps you know some rude intellectuals?)
Ever since Dennis and Ken slappo’d their way into Australian voters’ hearts back in 2013, those same besotted voters have been requesting a follow-up comic explaining the electoral system for the federal Senate, with its tentacle-long, bone-white ballots of terror. I’m happy to report that I managed to complete that comic in plenty of time for the election back in May, and you can read, download, and share it right beneath this link.
It was a huge amount of work to produce, and I did so with no sponsorship or outside support, because I like democracy and I wanted to help people. If that makes you want to click a Like button, try the Donate button instead, on my Ko-fi page! Yes, retroactively: even perhaps years after the fact, if that’s when you’re reading this. It’s like royalties! Go and donate! Yes, even if you’re not Australian! You think I don’t see you? I see you.
As for the international perma-meme that is Voting comic part 1, this year you might have seen it distributed in full-colour print alongside the campaign materials of Queensland Greens MP Michael Berkman and the teal candidate for Cowper, Carolyn ‘Caz’ Heise, as well as posted on the Facebook page of, uh, the Hunters and Shooters Society Australia. Can any doubt Dennis and Ken’s appeal across the entire spectrum of politics/sanity?
What this is is, I got really fed up with web two-point-oh, and sick of bloated-corpse wordpress too, and made a new, simple, easy blog (using publii) that I can post things on, when I make them! Comics, writing, illustrations, videos, whatever. Really tired of trying to keep up with social media websites as they rise and fall. Who has the time! Anyway add scrampbonk dot com to your bookmarks, or RSS feed if you’re on the cutting edge. Old Internet is still there, if we want it. Add me to your webring.
Getting serious with Ko-fi
I’m trying to gradually transition back to doing more creative work and personal projects, and the support of my… fans? Followers? Fellow weirdoes? — will be invaluable in making that possible, so I’ve been putting some time and effort into making my Ko-fi a worthwhile place to be.
Memberships
You can now become a monthly member to enjoy my new work earlier than ordinary internet plebes, see works in progress and other weird scraps, and even receive the exciting Envelope of Wonder in your actual, touchable mailbox throughout the year, if you so desire.
Contents (sans letter) of the first Envelope of Wonder. What will be in the next one? Fun and surprises, that’s what!
Monthly membership is a really, really effective way to help me create more of the stuff that you love, now and into the future. The financial support is straightforwardly helpful, but also encourages and motivates me on a mental and emotional level too. It’s like… tangible proof that people believe in my work. Thank you!
What’s that? You need a hundred of these? Contact me re: bulk discounts.
But wait! Before you click that “SPEND ALL OF MY MONEY” button… what day is it today? Because if it isn’t yet January 8th 2023, there is a sale on right now. You can get twenty whole percent off everything in the shop, simply by visiting it via this link:
And if that doesn’t work for some reason, just enter the code “YOWZA20” at checkout.
Oh, and! And! If you become a monthly member, you get automatic shop discounts anyway! Do the discounts stack? Sure, why not! (I’m actually not sure but I think so.)
Mr Frisky’s Unbelievable Planet
Hang on, Patrick, what was that about… a new comic?
Ah, yes! Sort of!
Clockwise from left: Mr Frisky, tiny Mr Frisky, Milkshake
A short comic I made in 2007, now shared with the world 15 years later!
Take a dubiously educational journey of discovery with Mr Frisky and his susceptible pal Milkshake, as they venture into the wildest, weirdest places on Earth and look at fish.
SUITABLE FOR ALL AGES. A perfect no-reason-in-particular gift for friends, students or teachers, niblings, or any marine biologists you happen to know.
That’s right, I had a completed 20-page comic sitting around for 15 years that I just never found the right opportunity to publish in any way. But now you can buy it in a slim, attractively designed, beautifully printed volume, at, as I may have mentioned, my Ko-fi shop.
It’s a little slab of delightful giggles and you will enjoy it, as will everyone you know or will ever meet. Buy ten thousand!
If you’d like to read a little about the design process of the Mr Frisky book, I blogged about that here, and if you’d like to see some exciting unboxing photos of the real thing, take a look here. And while you’re in an ogling mood, cop a load of these:
Phwoar! Yeah, I understand, you want it! Go and get it. (And don’t forget, the checkout code “YOWZA20” gives a 20% discount until a week into 2023. Yowza!)
I want to make more books like this, so don’t hesitate to encourage me.
Well my friend, we are in hyaku pasento resonance on those matters: I want those very same things. Support me on Ko-fi and help to make it all happen.
By the way, don’t forget you can join my mailing list on this website’s Contact page. Right now I rarely use it, but it’s potentially a great way to stay up-to-date while circumventing the invented need for social media. I’ll at least use it for important announcements, so pop in your email address and you won’t miss out. I promise I am not well-organised enough to be annoying.
And hey, is there anyone reading this blog post who was alerted to it via RSS? Leave a comment! I’d love to know that people are still using that.
It’s not chit-chat, it’s sketch comedy, sort of. It favours attentive listening but could also serve as some quite weird background texture, I suppose. I don’t expect everyone to ‘get it’ but you know what? I bet you will.
New episodes how often? I don’t know! But let’s hope for every month-to-two-months. This shit, even at its most basic, is time-consuming! (Which is why most podcasts are chit-chat or improv.)
In recent years, too much of my limited free time has been dedicated to creative projects that stall or fail, so the very kind and supportive people who follow my work (that’s you again) don’t often get to see what the hell I’ve been up to. That’s frustrating for both of us! So I’d like to start spending some time on small, stand-alone things; things that I can start and finish by myself in the narrow windows of time that I can afford, and put straight out into the world. This podcast is such a thing; I expect some fresh Hilarity Comics will be another.
I may soon start offering memberships on my ko-fi website so that my supporters get early access to all of that, plus any bonuses I can squeeze out. In the meantime you can make one-off donations there any time you feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the intermittent trickles of pleasure I freely provide. Thank you and enjoy!
The nightmare that was 2020 will soon be over. Let’s all look forward to a better year in 2021!
One year earlier…
The nightmare that was 2019 will soon be over. Let’s all look forward to a better year in 2020!
One year earlier…
The nightmare that was 2018 will soon be over. Let’s all look forward to a better year in 2019!
And so on and so on. I’m very, very tired of this “Whew! What a year!” editorial fluff — the same every December; haven’t they noticed yet? Meanwhile, to those who actually do things, big or small, to make the future better; to those who try to understand the underlying causes of these ongoing, worsening problems and choose their words, actions, and politics accordingly: my respect and thanks.
I do believe that the future can be better. But in the meantime, here it is, the editorial cartoon of the century!
The Editorial Cartoon of the Century
Look for some variation on this (or several) in about a week from now, wherever hacky American editorial cartoons can be found. And look again a year after that, and a year after that, and every year forever until we get booted off the cliff.
I know, I know! They have been for some months. I accidentally updated the PHP version and broke them — they were running on a very old, very simple gallery script that I liked. Oops. As compensation, here is a new Pink Chickens drawing:
I’m tired of messing about with websites, so what I’m thinking of doing is compiling these old comics into some PDFs and putting them on gumroad, so you can read them that way. Sound good? Let me know! Leave a comment here, or on instagram, or talk to me on twitter — you know, the internet!
A small assortment of fun and surprising tunes. Hit play and keep reading! (There are no lyrics to distract you.)
This half-album came out a few months ago, on November 21st, 2019. However, just a few days prior to the release date, I broke my hand, which was a lot to deal with, so I wasn’t able to spruik it much. (Nonetheless, it got a lovely mention on Discchord, and Fire Extinguisher was reviewed enthusiastically by Beatradar, too!)
Whenever you upload something to one of these music publishing services, they ask you what genre it is. I never know what to tell them, so I’ve decided that my style of music is called ‘jumblepop’. When I decide what that means, I’ll write a manifesto for you. That’s the done thing.
If you enjoy my Nuts, someone else might too! Share them with a friend; add them to your Spotify playlists; write a two-sentence review on Bandcamp; post them on social media — all those little things can have a big effect in the long run. So thank you! Links ahoy:
This time around I’d like to add a much-requested sequel dealing with voting for the federal Senate, if I can manage it. (You can help that to happen by supporting me via Ko-fi.) Anyway, the whole project now has a permanent home under this link, so please check it out and share the page with everyone you’ve ever seen.
The comic has been popular among non-Australians too, who are interested in alternative electoral systems — especially people from countries that use first-past-the-post systems. What we call ‘preferential voting‘ in Australia is usually called ‘instant-runoff voting‘ in formal contexts, ‘ranked choice voting‘ in North America, and ‘the alternative vote‘ in the UK. Now you know!
Incidentally, to elect the Australian federal Senate, we use single transferable vote (STV) proportional representation (PR).
It’s 45 minutes long. Every track is longer than 7 minutes, and slower than 95 BPM. It’s strange, playful and fantastical, but genuinely relaxing and enjoyable for everyone. It’s pleasant BGM but rewards attentive listening, becoming quite hypnotic and sensational. Recommended for:
Cafés
Breakfasts
Café breakfasts
Sunday afternoons
Naps
Seeing how your cats react to it
Bubble baths
Lovemaking??? (Try it and report back)
I ‘pre-released’ this album on bandcamp a week ago, and here are some of the responses (genuine and unsolicited) so far:
“An aural stroll through a dreamy little suburb, sleepy and strange and lost in time”
“Aliens sing me a lullaby”
“It makes me feel very Ghibly inside”
“Relax, Will Ya? is stunning in its musicality, as well as its absurdity. … I can’t overstate how oddly relaxing the melodies are.” (Tim Webb, Discchord.com)
“Good lord! Love the sonic textures and stupid adorable melodies!”
“Relaxing, but very focused with intent. … I would compare this favorably with Tomita and Disney classics. A shroom journey for sure.”
“It’s ear candy AND brain candy!”
“A trip to another world, fascinating and unpredictable”
“Absolutely brilliant!”
“Awesome and weird”
“Totally different than anything I could ever imagine … Just letting it play and being surprised by what comes next! It’s a journey and mind drifter. Very fresh man very fresh!”
“Incredible work! Listening to this made my day!!!”
“This is really fucking good”
It really is! It really is. Once again: Bandcamp, iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, Google Play, and everywhere. On bandcamp, I’ve set the album to “Name your price”, meaning you can download it for free or pay $10,000 for it. The point is, you can recommend it freely, because everyone can afford it. Listen, enjoy, comment, and please, please share! Thank you!
